I once told my mother that I have enough intelligence to be successful, but absolutely no ambition. During this process, I have thought many times about that statement. Though it is true to some degree, it is not completely accurate. A lack of ambition could be altruistic if it means that hard work, intelligence, and diligence is put to work for the betterment of others in self sacrifice. I find that not to be the case for me. To put it into its simplest terms, I am just lazy.
Merrium Webster's first definition, part A states that ambition is "an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power". This contradicts my statement to my mother because I have "an ardent desire for rank, fame,or power." But when you couple ambition with laziness that is where you find me standing, or probably laying down would be a better descriptor. I honestly didn't know such a combination was possible. When you put them side by side, they seem to be diametrically opposed to each other. I can honestly tell you that they are not mutually exclusive to each other.
My ambition for success has given me a chest-full of good ideas. Idea's that I could accomplish given the physical resources, proper planning, and time. But all of my ideas are but meteorites of my mind. They race in at great speed, burn white hot as they enter the atmosphere of my conscious mind, then are reduced to ash before ever coming to fruition.
I am an intelligent person. Not a genius, but no slouch either. I have the ability to be able to retain information by hearing it and be able to have a pretty good recall rate. I aced all of my tests in high school just by sitting in the classroom and reading the accompanying material. I did no homework and still graduated right in the middle of my class. A good friend of mine told me that I have always looked for the easy road to success. Very true words, indeed.
Now what I am faced with is the mind that wants success and the heart of a lazy man. And my mind is rebelling to see what I have accomplished in life when I am capable of so much more. It is time to take control of my laziness and put my mind at rest.
